As Sunny 88.7 FM counts down to this year's Couples Retreat, the Inspirational Morning Drive welcomed Kobina Jackson, founder of Doubles The Marriage Conversation, for a candid conversation about what it really takes to build a marriage that lasts.
"We're good. We're good. And we're excited," the host said, opening the segment. With the retreat already about 80% booked and roughly 20 of those bookings first-timers excitement was easy to come by. "That alone is exciting for us," the host added, "that we're going to see faces we've never seen before."
Jackson didn't hide his own anticipation either. "I'm looking forward to next month, 27th," he said. "Someone was trying to fix some programme during that period. I said, no way. It's not going to happen."
From Crisis to Calling
Jackson's journey into marriage ministry began far from the confident voice listeners hear today. He described the first five years of his own marriage as "a big deal" fights every day, including one memory he returns to often: a heated argument in the car that ended with his wife trying to jump out while it was moving, and him grabbing her jeans to pull her back in.
It was walking that road under the mentorship of his general overseer, Reverend Bernard Adjekwa, that changed his trajectory. "I thought, if I've been blessed to have somebody to teach and learn, then I must also do that," he said. That conviction pushed him beyond casual street counselling into formal training and eventually, into founding Doubles.
Why "One Size Fits All" Doesn't Work
Years of walking with couples have convinced Jackson that most people are fighting inherited battles. "You'll be surprised people still have the issues that our parents had," he said, tracing the root to a lack of self-awareness. "I am not marrying Adjua. I am not marrying Amma. I have married Rini" his wife "and I need to be sure that the person I am marrying is someone I can live the rest of my life with. It is not a feeling."
That's also why Doubles avoids one-size-fits-all prescriptions. Using finances as an example, Jackson explained that some couples thrive with a joint account, others with separate accounts and full transparency. "The principle is financial transparency," he said. "How you implement that principle depends on the two of you."
Intentionality, In Practice
Pressed on how "intentional" actually plays out on an ordinary Tuesday, Jackson didn't offer platitudes. He described a season when his wife's work schedule meant they barely saw each other awake so she made it a habit to show up at his office every single day at 3:30pm just to hug him, meetings or not. "Of course there were times I was agitated," he admitted, "but looking back, that's what maintained the connection. If you are not intentional, things will slip."
He connected the point directly to the retreat's theme: marriage affects everything else, including the workplace. "If your wife has stressed you this morning before coming to work, your whole attitude changes," he said. "If we can ensure our family life systems are working properly, it affects every other dimension of our life."
"We Don't Have Issues" Until They Asked His Wife
Perhaps the most striking story Jackson shared was from his own marriage's early, seemingly peaceful years. An accountability partner asked how things were going. "Fantastic," Jackson answered confidently. "We don't have any issues." The same question, put to his wife sitting right behind him, got a very different answer: "Not good at all."
What followed was a hard lesson every time she tried to speak, he cut her off, and she'd simply stopped trying. "Because of that, I've chosen to be quiet in this relationship," she told him. "We seemed to have peace at home," Jackson reflected, "but this is what happens in a lot of homes. We are coexisting."
It's the reason he pushes back on anyone who thinks a retreat is only for marriages in crisis. "That kind of thinking is where the trouble starts from where you feel you have arrived," he said. "The fact that you don't seemingly have conflicts does not mean you shouldn't invest in your relationship."
A Different Kind of Friday Morning
Unlike typical seminar-style sessions, Jackson's Friday morning session at the retreat won't be lecture-driven. "I was tired of the theatre seating one person talks for an hour, five minutes for questions, and you're out," he said. Drawing on his experience running interactive business workshops, he's built Doubles around shared discussion: couples generating ideas together, then working out how biblical principles apply to their specific marriage.
Getting a Reluctant Spouse on Board
Asked how to bring an unwilling spouse along, Jackson's advice was gentle rather than forceful: let them get comfortable first. "Get him to listen to me on radio, so they get comfortable," he said. "Everybody wants to know am I coming to be judged? Gradually introduce the speakers to them." He's seen the shift happen often at Doubles events: couples who arrive frowning and leave as the programme's biggest ambassadors, simply because they found a space where they weren't judged.
Registration Is Open — But Filling Fast
With the retreat venue, Aqua Safari, already flagging limited remaining room availability after the first week of August, the Sunny FM team is urging couples to secure a room with a deposit and continue payment from there.
For registration and enquiries, call or WhatsApp 054-522-3324 Sunny FM's team will walk you through the process.
Don't miss August 27th.